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that did nothing to embellish the landscape.
One such had sprung up near the wine-growing area that
Fairy Lurline had chosen to queen it in. Naturally as soon as
the trolls discovered that the outbuildings and cellars of the
region contained inebriants there was no restraining them.
This circumstance was now to play a part in a scene to be
enacted.
As Lurline and her immediate circle perched among the vines
discussing their hair-dos they were shaken by the sudden sound
63
THE CROWN OF OZ
and then sight of a gang of desperadoes.
Move along, shouted a troll voice.
Hurry up! commanded another.
The voices grew louder and more painfully comprehensible.
Something; about the tone and timbre warned the fairies to make
themselves scarce. Their curiosity was of course too greatly
aroused for them incontinently to make tracks. Instead they
simply and quickly became invisible.
Now the fairies, agog, spied a party of five coming along the
vine rows. Two of the number were bound and gagged, so how
they managed to walk along on all fours was quite mysterious.
Truth to tell, they weren t managing it very well, hence the
exhortations from their captors. Awkwardly they blundered
along an aisle of the grape yard
As the captives appeared to toe the line a little better the
lead troll, one Numskul (Numskul P. Heddingtrousen, to give
him his complete name), allowed himself to relax and even
commented genially, Won t it be wonderful to have bacon and
eggs for breakfast again? Or think of ham-hocks and fritters for
lunch!
Indeed, seconded a lieutenant. This dearth of pork has
been quite frightful.
Why, exclaimed the third, my wife might make us some
pickled pigs feet or pigs knuckles. Roughly he jostled the two
swine prisoners into line along the narrow path.
Numskul stopped drooling long enough to say, Look at
what we have here! Two luscious piggywigs. True, the smaller
one won t serve for more at present than roast suckling-pig but
we ll soon have her franked up to fatting for her pains. The other
is already of a size to provide us meat for split-pea soup for a
long time to come.
Hearing the grim words, the smaller of the two pigs fell down
in a faint. Her sibling tripped over a vine root and joined her.
For lo! These were Caresso-Pigs, Wee and Nilnul (whose
name was confusingly like that of his captor). All fans of Miss
Fattywiggins will have marveled that thus far in our tale no
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THE CROWN OF OZ
mention had been made of her inseparable favorites, the
Caressos. This is due to the physical circumstance that when
wise Queen Ozma got word of the near-extinction of the race of
swine in her northern realm she requested and received leave
of Miss F. to send the family of her chums there as colonists.
Ozma had of course intended the pigs as heraldic beasts only. It
was the Trolls who had jumped to wrong conclusions and when
they ran across a couple of the Caressos out on a walking tour
assumed they had been placed there as provender.
Now troll Numskul, noting the fall of the pigs, said, We ve
been walking for quite a while now. I wonder if we ll make it
home before nightfall.
I too am pretty tired of walking, seconded his second. His
name was Druid.
Look! cried Cheep, the third. There s a barn just ahead.
What if we stayed there for the night and went on with our prizes
early in the morning?
That sounds good, concurred Numskul. He kicked Wee
to her feet and urged Nilnul along at a faster pace.
The group passed on out of ear-range of the eavesdropping
fairies, who, now that the coast was clear, turned on their fairy
lights and glowed faintly in the gathering dusk. Gosh, said
Mustardseed, weren t those trolls just the most ugly gnarled
creatures you have ever seen!
It s easy to see what they ve been up to, countered Mab
indignantly. They ve abducted two of the new colonists the Oz
ruler sent here to replenish the pig population of Gillikinland.
Do you mean Princess Ozma?
That s the one.
Tis very grievous to be thought upon, declared Cobweb
and forthwith quit thinking about it.
The consciences of the other fays were not so easily stilled.
Don t they know, cried Titania, outraged to a quivering pitch,
that any animal who can talk is a protected species in Oz?
Since all animals can talk in Oz, the scope was broad. Such,
went on the fairy, are deemed out of bounds to anyone who
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THE CROWN OF OZ
might ordinarily eat him or her.
Try telling that to jolly Joe King, Titania. He d eat you (if you
were a pig) quicker than you could recite the Declaration of
Independence.
It s clear to me, said Moth, that the trolls, once they get
these pigs back to their camp, plan to kill them both and devour
them.
Well, kill , put in Mab. That s rather going some, isn t it?
since no one can die in Oz.
Devour them anyway, insisted Moth.
At this point Lurline decided to act, or at least get someone
else to act. Moth, she spoke, would you please spread the
word and organize a band of our members to keep watch on the
trolls and their prisoners tonight and subsequently to follow
them in the morning back to their shanty town or wherever
they re going?
Well thought upon, your majesty, praised Moth. It shall
be done, and right willingly.
Saying this, the fairy took off. in an instant. Her aura could
be seen as a soft firefly glow as she flitted here and there,
gathering up outlying fairies. Soon they had formed a bright
circle of lights that flickered and then was seen no more as they
pursued the renegade trolls and their hapless captives.
Meanwhile the trolls had reached the aforementioned barn
beyond the end of the vineyard rows. Numskul issued com-
mands. You two take our friends inside the barn. Keep careful
guard over them. Above all, do not hear them plead, for they re
well-spoken and perhaps may more your hearts to pity if you
mark them.
I warrant you, my chief, said Druid. Talkers are no good
to us except to eat.
Start a small fire. I ll snatch us some food from the vines.
Numskul turned on his heel.
The other two trolls went into the storehouse, where they
unceremoniously threw down their prisoners next to a tower-
ing row of casks that lined one wall. It was not long before they
66
THE CROWN OF OZ
had a fire going in an old brazier they found on the premises.
Amidst the plenty about them they used a flagon of fine old
cognac to encourage the flames.
Alas, this was not the only use they made of such flagons.
When their captain returned he found he had been a numbskull
indeed to delegate authority to such confederates. The two were
lifting high cheering cups and toasting one another as they
looked for something to use as a spit to toast one of their
captives.
You cretins, the boss defined them, slinging down a partly
fractured and abandoned witty basket he had found and filled
with luscious grapes. Don t you know better than to drink on
empty stomachs?
We were powerfully thirsty, complained Druid.
Fill up your bellies with these, ordered the chief brusquely,
indicating the grape clusters.
I d rather start on those. Here Druid gestured significantly
at the two cowering pigs.
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