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the pool. She seemed to be composing herself for a
moment, and then she cleared her throat. I need to head
inside and make those calls before it gets too late out
there.
Alexa looked up at her friend. Okay. Want me to come
with?
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Holly remembered how, back in South Beach, Alexa had
sat by her side during another very difficult phone call. Now,
though, she knew she needed to go it alone. So she told
Alexa good-night and headed back inside the house, her
pulse tapping at her wrists. As she made her way toward
her bedroom, where her phone lay waiting on her bed, she
decided she d make the calls in order of their difficulty:
Kenya first, to ask some questions about UCLA; her
parents next, to discuss the college decision; and, finally &
tyler was flashing across the screen of Holly s cell just as
she reached for it; she d been so deep into her thoughts
she hadn t even heard it ringing. Her heart in her throat,
Holly clicked the phone on and brought it to her ear.
Hi, she whispered. I was just about to call you. Kind of
Holly. Tyler s tone was deep and sober. We need to talk.
That s putting it mildly, Holly murmured, unsure why she
was joking. Then she realized that she had to make things
a little lighter, or she and Tyler would be swallowed by their
sadness.
Ever since we got off the phone, I ve been thinking, Tyler
went on, his voice low with emotion.
Me, too, Holly said, and sat on the edge of
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her bed, studying the starry Malibu night through her
drapes. A lot.
I love you, Tyler said.
I love you, too, Holly whispered. But&
But, Tyler replied, like a confirmation.
Holly felt the tears return, salty and familiar as they
meandered down her cheeks. So great minds think alike?
she managed to ask.
Tyler gave a half laugh. God, Holly. I can t believe this is
happening.
I know, Holly whispered. Except it& is.
Slowly, carefully, she and Tyler began talking, began
unwinding a conversation that would flow deep into the
night. Holly wasn t sure where their talk would carry them,
but that was the thing about the future. It was unknown, and
unknowable, but before you knew it, you were there.
232
CHAPTER TEn
Present Tense
All of El Sueño was in a tizzy. Photographers snapped
shots of the main house while reporters swarmed the
grounds, generating a constant humming sound.
When Alexa pulled up in Jonah s Hybrid the next morning,
Miguel directed her to a parking spot behind a news van.
As she pushed her sunglasses up and lifted two iced white
chocolate dreams The Coffee Bean s specialty from the
drink holders, Alexa thought she heard the faint slapping of
a helicopter s blades overhead. Insanity. It was Margaux s
wedding day, so either half the world was salivating for a
glimpse of the handsome brother of the bride or Holly
had created a raging bonfire of Tyler s photos in the living
room.
233
Stepping out of the car, and tucking the fat, glossy July
issue of Vogue under her arm, Alexa saw that the
guesthouse looked intact. Whew.
Last night, when Holly hadn t come back outside, Alexa had
abandoned her post by the pool to go to bed; beauty sleep
was a priority for the wedding. She d been propped up on
pillows, investigating LA salons on her laptop, when Holly
had stuck her head into the room. She d looked weary and
wan, and her face was stained with tears, but she d
assured Alexa that she was coping, and that they d talk in
the morning. Is it over with Tyler? Alexa had whispered
from her bed. Over, Holly had confirmed, her face
crumpling slightly as she d pulled the door shut. First thing
in the morning, Alexa had crept out of the house to run
errands at the Malibu Country Mart such as dropping off
her film, buying Vogue, and making an appointment at a
chichi hair salon so she hadn t seen Holly yet. But she d
been worrying about her friend the whole time.
Her Grecian sandals clicking against the flagstones, Alexa
trotted past the main house, where Esperanza was
standing on the sundeck, firmly telling reporters that Jonah
wasn t home and that they should call his publicist for a
quote. Alexa wondered what the scene was like at
Margaux s house in the Hills the site of
234
the actual wedding. As Alexa let herself into the
guesthouse, she felt a thrill shoot through her; in a matter of
hours, she d be in the midst of an honest-to-goodness
Hollywood event. She couldn t think of a better way to kick
off her summer not to mention the rest of her life.
Humming contentedly, Alexa carried the iced coffee drinks
to Holly s bedroom, expecting to find her friend watching
the press outside her window. Instead, Holly was kneeling
on the floor of her walk-in closet, wrapped in one of the
guesthouse s fluffy white robes, her wet hair shielding her
face and looking absolutely miserable.
Oh, Hoi Alexa murmured, leaning against the closet door
and feeling a swell of sympathy. I know it hurts. Even
though Alexa had recently had her heart badly broken in
Paris, she couldn t begin to guess at the raw pain Holly was
dealing with. Alexa and Xavier had had a passionate fling,
not the kind of together-forever relationship Holly and Tyler
had shared.
Huh? Holly glanced up, blinking, and then shook her head
when she saw the concern on Alexa s face. Despite her
lingering pain over what had happened with Tyler, Holly felt
a giggle rise in her throat. Oh, God. It s not what you think.
Alexa raised one brow. Holly s gray-green eyes were
round, but they weren t teary. You re not crying
235
over Tyler? Alexa asked, passing Holly one of the iced
drinks.
Not now, Holly sighed, getting to her feet and taking a sip
of the frothy-sweet concoction. I think I successfully cried
myself out last night. The dull ache in Holly s heart
deepened as she thought back to the hardest conversation
of her life. She d once read an article in CosmoGIRL! that
had equated breaking up with tearing off a Band-Aid. On
the phone with Tyler last night, Holly had decided that the
amputation of a limb would be a far better comparison. It
didn t have to be a whole leg maybe, like, a pinkie
finger. Which, of course, still hurt like hell.
She and Tyler had opened up about everything their
frustrations, their differences, their desires. I think we want
opposite things out of life, Tyler had said at one point while
Holly had wept into the phone. Tyler had sniffed hard
which was his way of crying and added that he never
wanted to be the person to keep Holly from achieving her
dreams. You ve been so good to me, Holly had sobbed in
response, knowing it was true. They d finally ended the
conversation by saying they d talk again at graduation.
Afterward, an emotionally drained Holly had somehow
found it in her to call her parents to discuss UCLA, a talk
which hadn t been much easier. Then she d tossed and
turned the night away, sobbing into
236
her pillow and repeating I m not with Tyler anymore to
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