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Of course. That was Aida.
Why me?
There was the briefest of pauses that spoke volumes to Evan. Vic looked at his desk, coughed into his
hand.
You have an exemplary record, Detective. Commendations, letters of merit. High arrest rate.
No different than my partner or half the detectives I know, Evan said, a calm coming over him.
True. But it takes more than a record to make a good captain. Richard leaned forward, elbows on
his knees.
Very true. It takes a certain accumen of political savvy which I don't have. Evan matched Richard's
position. I've never expressed interest in going higher on the food chain here. I'm happy where I am.
Is that a no? Aida moved to the edge of the couch.
No, it's not. I just want a straight answer.
Aida and Richard shared a sidelong glance, and Aida nodded slightly.
You're a prime candidate because of your record and your& personal situation. We don't have
enough diversity high up in the rankings, Evan. And you are perfect for what we're looking for. Aida
smiled. That's the truth.
Not enough white guys in charge, Evan quipped, even as his palms began to sweat.
Not enough gay men in charge. Richard threw the gauntlet down.
I'm not&
Aida waved her hand. Bisexual, whatever the terminology you use. You live openly with another
man, a former police officer. You're accepted by your fellow officers. It's the perfect situation.
Silence swelled in the office.
Vic coughed again, shifted in his seat.
So what puts me over the edge in terms of the competition is that I live with another man? The
entire meeting was surreal, ironic. All that time he worried what being with Matt would do to his
career, and now it was directing him to a promotion.
The singled-out part bothered him. A lot. He knew there was nothing at all wrong with his record or
his ability. He knew he could become a good captain.
He didn't want to be known as the gay captain because someone needed a political quota.
It's certainly a plus. We wouldn't be talking to you if the rest of your record wasn't exemplary. As
he sat back, Richard gave him an appraising look. You know you can do this. You know it would be
good for people. Reverse stereotypes.
Evan opened his mouth to snap something, but he reined it in. Because he had as many stereotypes as
the people Richard was talking about.
He had his own preconceived notions that he had fought against.
The reality of the situation was he lived with a man. He was in love with a man, someone he trusted
with the raising of his children. Gay, bisexual, formerly straight; words that didn't entirely encompass
the situation.
I'm not interested in being a symbol, Evan said finally. If you'd like to evaluate me on the basis of
my record, then please do. If the only winning point is me being bisexual, then I'd rather not have the
job.
He gave Vic a nod, stood up and extended his hand to Aida and Richard. Thank you. And good luck
in finding your next captain.
Evan got collared by Helena as he walked out of Vic's office and all but thrown into an empty
interrogation room.
What the hell was that? she said, the second after the door snicked closed.
They're trying to fill a quota. Evan half laughed, half sighed as he threw himself into a chair. They
want a gay captain.
And they picked you? Helena grabbed a chair across from him, her jaw literally dropping.
Is that surprising for some reason?
You're not exactly very out and& ohhhhhh. She nodded knowingly. Gay but straight. They must've
found out about you and started drooling.
I'm not sure which part to be more horrified by, to be quite honest.
She gave him a semidisappointed look. I know how much you hate being labeled&
I do, because you know it shouldn't matter. But then it does, right? It matters to me. Evan wiped
his forehead with the palm of his hand. I get all indignant about being called gay, like it's wrong or
hurtful or an insult. Meanwhile& Evan sighed, thinking about all the fights he and Matt had been
having lately. Meanwhile, I go home every night to Matt.
It bothers you that people know that.
Evan resisted the urge to bang his forehead against the table. It shouldn't.
It's scary, waiting for people to judge you.
What if I'm judging myself? I fell in love. That's the bottom line. I wasn't looking, I wasn't exploring.
I wasn't making a statement. I was drowning and I fell in love. Everything else is other people's shit.
You're a lucky man. Lightning doesn't usually strike twice. Some of us are still waiting to get hit.
Helena reached across the table to grab his hand. I know things haven't been easy for you lately.
I think I've been kind of a homophobe. Evan sighed.
A bisexual homophobe. You just don't do anything easy, do you?
I also think I'm kind of a jerk sometimes.
Can I plead the Fifth?
You know, as my best friend and partner, feel free to start defending my honor at any time.
You say something I don't agree with, and I'll jump right in.
Ooooo, burn.
Jerk. Helena shook her head. It's not like the world and society and people make it easy, Evan. To
be gay or bi or single or whatever it is that isn't previously approved as the status quo. You're just a
normal person I hate to break this to you.
Evan smiled as he squeezed her fingers between his. This shouldn't be the norm. My kids deserve
better, Matt deserves better. Hell so do I.
You going to pursue the captain thing?
I told them to feel free to consider me for the job but I didn't want to be their token gay captain.
Bisexual captain.
Whatever. My love life shouldn't have any bearing on my job, unless I'm dating a pony.
Um& ew.
This is what I'm saying. Evan checked his watch. We have to get back to work.
When you're the boss, I want longer breaks.
His brain ticked and churned and returned to the conversation in Vic's office. He'd managed a few
moments alone with his captain before he left, and Vic was apologetic for everything, but Evan
thanked him. Sometimes he needed a kick in the ass.
Or ten.
Evan took the long way home; he didn't want to walk through the door and let his mouth convey
something to Matt he didn't mean to.
Like he was ashamed of them. Like he didn't truly value their relationship.
Like somehow there was regret that they fell in love.
What had Helena said? Lightning didn't strike twice very often? He and Sherri, he and Matt. There
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